Even More A Geek Than Before

Handy when comparing color quality in photoshop, chatting/browsing while playing EVE (whenever I'm not 2boxing), and just really cool. I did this before, but then it was a 17" and a 15". Not cool. I'm really enjoying the widescreen though. You know it's bed when the resolution is high enough to make digital artifacts obvious in DVD movies. True, not all DVD movies are encoded so poorly, but plenty are. Anyway, I'm tired and jumping about (as well as using far too many commas).

Not geeky enough? Well, recently I typed up a roleplay bio for my EVE character Mallikan. I enjoyed typing it and felt it fleshed out my character like no other character I've played. I mean, I've played roleplaying games, but I've never truly role played. Very geeky, but I've already got a great girl that loves me for who I am. So why not roleplay? :) The thing is, I enjoyed it to the point that I am considering starting another blog. Whenever something interesting is witnessed by Mallikan (and thus, me) in EVE, I can type a short story-like blog about it, completely roleplaying the event. Of course, this could be troublesome when involving players with names like "BigEd123" and such, but they can be easily replaced with "ore thief" or "merc" or "friend" . I don't know, could be fun. There really is an interesting level of involvement in EVE. Read one good EVE fiction in the magazine or on the site and you have to read another. Playing EVE and experiencing things that are exciting or funny causes a sort of creative spark. Plus, knowing the fiction, it's plausible for this universe to have such silly names. In the EVE universe, very young people can become pod pilots, and by the looks of some of the character portraits, they could pass for 17, 18, 19. The corp I am currently employed in is called "Plundering Penguins" . Could I involve that in the story? I think so, with a bit of fun.

Widescreen? Yes Please

Difficult to get everything just right, and the color (16.2 mil instead of 16.7) causes some trouble from time to time, but all in all I am please with my 19" Samsung widescreen. I don't even know what to do with all of the extra space. Hehhehe...
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Currently Listening To: Mom coughing while she makes sloppy joes.

I Dressed Up!

For Alicia! Haha, she looked absolutely amazing.. we went out to eat at some new Italian place for our one year together. She had fettuccine alfredo and I had snow crab legs. Yeah, I couldn't decide on anything so I went for something fun AND delicious! Hahaha.. it was fun. So yeah, mom and dad got a picture of me since they never see me dressed up. Alicia picked out the clothes and I think she did a great job. ;) I love you so much Alicia, thanks for an amazing year.

Yep, I'm tired but I'm so going to stay up all night anyway. So here's my dad.---
Listening To: Blind Guardian - Imaginations From The Other Side (Live) - Mirror Mirror - 1998

Mice Are Our Friends

It's sooo late, so this will be quick. I got a "Fancy" mouse today from Petsmart when Alicia and I were in Paducah. He's cute, hyperactive, and loves carrots just as much as my old rats used to. He's not fond of my yet, though he did take a cracker from my hand. Eventually he'll be a bit more aware of me and not so afraid. And what's the name of this cute critter? Peyton Manning of course! I mean, come on, look at him. You can tell he's got laser rocket arms just like the real Peyton Manning. Yep.. hahaha, goodnight.


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Listening To: The permanent ringing in my ears (I wish I was joking about that)

EVERYBODY PANIC!!!

Birds falling out of the sky around the world? Poison being found in mail? Strange smells in New York? Fox News reporters yelling like kids with Down's Syndrome?

O M G!!!! IT MUST BE THE END OF TEH WORLDS!!!11


Oh wait, nevermind. This is all related to a far worse disaster: Election year.

Ah, America. Freedom to be sheep. Everyone remember the BIG EPIDEMEMEDIC SARS??? The bird flu? Y2k? Hmm. We might as well have telescreens in every home, always on. Remember, Big Brother is watching you. Enjoy the last bits of freedom you have America, it won't last much longer. But don't worry, Fox News is reporting in the No Spin Zone! Buy an SUV, a few gallons of gas, and smile.
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Currently Listening To: The dull drone of my computer's case fans, punctuated by brief intervals of typing.

Complete Exhaustion

The Description:
It's confusing. There's a weight over my heart that's a hundred pounds. Anything and everything that is coming up in the next day or so that requires any amount of work already sounds like too much. I'm dizzy with sleepiness, and yet I'm not asleep yet. I delay sleep in order to delay the next day, the next routine, or the next possible surprise that life may bring. I constantly worry about taking care of things that should have been taken care of weeks ago, regardless of the fact that it's not my fault. Sad music is too sad, happy music is too happy, and mellow music too mellow. I don't know where to begin and I don't want to begin anyway for fear of ending. I want to be in a simple state of happiness, a simple inner calm of never sleeping and simply enjoying the present forever. Perhaps not the current present as I type this, but the present of approx. 24 hours ago when I was warm under a blanket with Alicia on a couch watching nonsense on TV.

However, being there last night is partly the reason I am exhausted to this extent right now. It was something I needed to do. But it didn't cure me of what I had hoped to be cured of. I want to be cured of the Army mainly, even though I can a good 3+ years until that happens. I'm sick of working day in and day out not knowing if the next time that f'ing phone rings will be a call from the Army saying we've been activated. If we do get activated, then holy fricking crap, let me KNOW! I am so SICK AND TIRED of not knowing! It's not that I don't want to go, it's what I bloody signed up for. It's the morons that came up with "hay guys lol letz make an 'alert' statos 4 unutz." There is NO F'ING REASON for alert status!!! All it does is put every single one of us on the edge of our seats as we try to get by with our normal lives. Stupid thoughtless pricks. I'd rather be told "we've been activated" and have a few months before going than to have "we're on alert, but that doesn't mean we're active. In fact, we can be taken off alert just as quick. So don't quit your job or anything. Oh, and don't tell your family." So basically... I might go to war, but maybe not, so don't worry about it anyway, but we might, although maybe not, oh and STFU about it kthxbai. Here's the problem. When I joined the army, I thought that was an automatic "hey, you might go to war. In fact, more than likely." And most certainly not "You might go. In fact, probably soon. But probably not. Don't worry about it. In fact, don't do anything different." So.. again.. my point is... WTF!

I am exhausted. I'm finally going to bed. I think I've decided that I'd rather get orders to go to Iraq this weekend than go another stupid week on edge. The Army Reserve would be great if it wasn't run my a bunch of farking idiots.
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Currently Not Giving A Single Crap What I'm Listening To

Midnight Ponderosa!

I was going to go with "Late Night Ponders," but I decided that sounded too thoughtful. Though I have quite a few thoughts on my mind, it's certainly not to the point of making it sound so.. smart. Although, I don't say that to make it sound any less important. The first topic on my mind may be touchy for some, or just silly for others. However, I find it intriguing. Intriguing to the point of buying a book about it.

Ever read or hear about the ancient stories of the Hopi Native American tribes? If you have, and you've read the Bible as well, you probably noticed the striking similarity. I don't want to go into great detail yet, I want to wait until I have the book in my hands as a resource. From what I have read though, it's astonishing. It's to the point that I believe that, essentially, the Hopi tribe is Christian. Not at all the way we see Christianity though. Ever wonder about the people completely out of contact with the rest of the world? The ones that missionaries will probably never meet? I don't think that God would simply allow these people to die and go to hell without somehow giving them a chance.

The general idea for the Christian is that Christ is the one single way of salvation. I believe this is true. But let's say that one of these tribes believes in a "story" so identical to the Bible's that it could very well be the same story in different words. Parts of the story match events that are similar to things happening on the other side of the planet, no possible way for that information to reach them. I'm talking about even after the flood, so rule out the Pangea theory. I want to research this a lot more, but I'm beginning to believe that God spread His holy word in many ways other than the Bible. Am I saying that all religions work out to be Christianity? Goodness no. If you thought that for a second I either wasn't clear or you didn't read what I just typed.

The Hopi tribe speak of the ark, the flood, of a time similar to the tower of Babel (without the tower), a second coming of a saviour (generally speaking), the destruction of the world or the people due to evil (imbalance with nature = sin), not to mention several other bits of info. I really want to discover as much as I can about this. Every last bit I can salvage. I've always had a love for the Native American culture(s) and a great sadness for the cruel destruction that was brought on them. Me being a bit partial could cause me to read too much into this, but it's too intriguing to outright ignore.

At least for me...

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The second thing on my mind is marriage. Bam! Threw you a fast ball, do you like that?? No, I haven't asked Alicia; I haven't even asked her father yet. But we've been talking about it a lot recently. It's exciting and it's something that will happen eventually. Most everyone knows I was engaged for quite a while with another girl. I can admit it was quite the mistake. The fact is, I was under a lot of emotional pressure due to basic training and the fact that everyone in the Army was saying "ZOMG UR TTOLLY GOING 2 IRAWQ AFTUR BAYSIK!!11!98" For some reason, this caused my mind to think "well, if I'm going to go to war, I might as well be married." This is one of those big times in my life where I look around and think "what the heck was I thinking?" I was fooling myself.

Here is where these two very different stories come together. If it weren't for that experience, I wouldn't have met Alicia. Not only that, but I wouldn't have been able to understand what I would experience with Alicia. She made me respect women more (I already did, but trust me, after the previous 'relationship', I needed to relearn respect for women), and I realized what true love felt like. I realized that is the same love for family and friends that you truly care about, and even more. It is this undying emotion, almost tangible presence, in my heart that lets me know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would go through death for this woman. More than that, I would go through the most excruciating pain for this woman. Of course, the day that we hopefully have children will be the day that she goes through the most excruciating pain for the joy of life.. gosh. You know, the thought of that nearly brings a tear to my eye.

So, though the mistake of my past has somewhat scarred my record, and will more than likely seed doubt amongst my friends and family about the seriousness of our marriage, I have no doubts in my heart. Now I have to gather up all that courage and bundle it into a conversation with her Dad. No comment, the expression on my face (that I know you can't see right now) tells it all. For those that know me well, the big vein is popping out of my forehead. :)
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Currently Listening To: Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Plans - 2005

Oh yeah, ZOMG ITZ 2007!!!1 WTF?!

Two Boxing: Know What I Mean?

Why? Well, when you spend 23,000,000 ISK on a new Battlecruiser (the Amarrian Prophecy), it's just required. Hah, the purchase brought my funds down to a light 12 mil. Holding two accounts in an MMO is nuts. It's nuts enough to pay $15/month for a fun game, but to pay $30 to play the same game with two characters seems really silly. Oh no, it's not completely silly. It *seems* silly since there are other options to pay for game time. Word on the Corp channel is that 300 million ISK will buy a month (maybe two) of game time. The market shifts, but with two characters (once I get my skills developed on my new Gallente alt, "Pew'Pew") millions of ISK will come easy while still allowing for "fun" time. For 90 days of game time, it's about a billion or so ISK. It's funny that someone would pay that much for a game time card then trade it for ISK, but there are a bunch of rich 30+ year olds playing this game. Go figure. So yeah, I'm silly. Here's a fresh pic of my brand new Battlecruiser!

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Currently Listening To: Smile Empty Soul - Refill Me - Anxiety - 2005